A Post at Last

 Well, I haven't been doing well at regular posting lately.  Now that the play is done, I've been spending a lot of time mulling over the question of `what next?'  (As in, so... what direction should my entire life take now that I suddenly have free time again?  Yeah, I know.  I don't even know what's going to happen tomorrow.  Or an hour from now.  I know what I think is going to happen (dinner) but psychic I ain't.)  

I didn't want to leave everyone believing I dropped off the face of the earth, so here I am, still alive, and coming to the realization that I don't actually have to know what's going to happen next year, or even next month.  That I leave to God, since he actually can see the future.  All I have to do (as Terry Pratchett says in `Night Watch') is the job in front of me. 

Taken Care Of

Well I just had an interesting adventure.  While I was driving home through Frederick today, the van stalled out on me.  It's the first time I've been in that situation.  So there I was, someone honking to show that the light was green and me trying to wave them past and wondering how in the world I'd get out of the middle of the road.  

Just then a very kind Christian lady pulled up beside me and asked if I needed help.  I said yes, absolutely, I would love help, so she zipped into the car repair shop that was beside me on the same side of the street (yeah, I'm not the most observant when I'm panicking) and got some of the guys to come push me into their parking lot.

I have no idea who the lady was who helped me (I didn't think to ask her name) but I am very grateful to her and the guys at the car repair- and most of all thankful to God.  I mean, what are the odds of breaking down beside a repair shop instead of the middle of a three lane highway? It is really nice to know He is looking out for me.

Aftermath

Me and my brother, Justin, backstage in costume as Septimus and Cornelia, a Roman Centurion and his wife.

The play is over.  Our final performance was last Friday.  As always, it was a journey of self-discovery.  I discovered that I'm allergic to mascara.  Since I don't generally wear makeup it wasn't that heartbreaking of a discovery.  I did spend a couple days looking like a football player -only with red rash lines under my eyes instead of black paint.

This was definitely the biggest, most intense play I've ever been involved in.  My previous acting experience was backyard plays with my brothers and a few friends.  Practices happened whenever we could get together, and performance dates were decided once we had things pretty much down.  Adjusting to a strict schedule and a cast of more than five people was a bit of a culture shock.  We were actually interviewed by the Frederick News Post.  (Okay, I wasn't personally interviewed and if you look up the article you won't find my name anywhere.  But still.  A newspaper article.  We're practically famous!)

The most amazing thing is how God brought just the right people in to help- and how we all knew that we had been called to this.  We never would have reached the performance without that because -trust me- everything that could possibly go wrong did.  We had people dealing with sickness, we had schedule conflicts and props that had to be built at the last moment.  I think our director lost about a month's worth of sleep.  Just about everyone was discouraged at one point or another by how massive the task was, and how inadequate we were.  I know God was with us, because I still can't figure out how we pulled it off.  We were completely at the end of our abilities and God just said `here, let Me handle it.' 

And now I want to sleep for a week.

Something Good

I recently picked up a book that was first recommended to me by our pastor's wife.  I don't usually read autobiographies, but this book is just lovely.  It's called `Kisses from Katie' and it's about a young lady (younger than me by ten years!)  who goes to Uganda and adopts over a dozen children.  The book is very encouraging, both in how much she loves God and how she encourages the reader to look around and see where they can be loving and helping others where they are.  She writes a blog that is very much worth checking out, and tells a lot about what she's doing to help in Uganda.  I'm posting a link here. 

As for my life, it has been filled recently with the best kind of busyness.  I'm still spending a lot of time at play practice, and when I'm not there, I'm working on my new novel, and they are both gifts.  

You know how sometimes after a really heavy rainstorm the sun comes out and every branch, every leaf, every stalk of grass or weed (in our yard there are lots of those) is shining with drops of water so dazzling you almost can't look?  That's what life is like right now.  Covered with shimmers.

In Character

I had a bit of a rough play practice last night.  When I got on stage I couldn't remember my character!  It wasn't like I hadn't been studying my script -I had.  It was just that as soon as I stood up to practice, I blanked out.  I wasn't a retired Centurion's wife, I was Grace Clay fumbling around.

   Acting skills and writing skills are closely related.  In both cases the characters have to stay in character, even if all they do is walk across the stage.  And in both cases, you can blank out and completely forget what the character you're trying to portray is like.  It's really frustrating, and humiliating.  If you're on stage you go `oh no!  I'm a rotten actor!  Everyone is probably looking at me in a funny way!'  And if you're writing you go `oh no!  I'm a rotten author!  Everyone will think I'm a hack who never made it through English 101!'

If I blank out on a character while writing, I find it helpful to re-read what I've written and look for establishing moments.  That can often be enough to get me thinking like the character again. 

Sometimes the problem is that I'm trying to be too many people at the same time.  In that case, layering can help- that is, writing out the basic scene between two or more characters, then layering in another character (remembering to have the previous characters react to them) and keep doing it until all the characters are in the scene.

And of course, there are always those days where I've just had a busy week and didn't get enough sleep. The nice thing about that is, as soon as I rest up, the problem goes away.

As for my acting, hopefully sleep and practice will solve the problem.  If not, I can always smack myself with the script a few times and hope something sinks in.

So how about you all?  Any favorite tricks for when a character just... isn't themselves?

Ripples

Those of you who have been following my blog are aware that I have a soft spot for plays.  I'm actually involved in one now.  (As in, I have a lovely role that I should be off memorizing.)  The play is about Jesus' ministry and will be performed this spring at the Nazarene Church in Frederick.   

There, I managed to sound all announcer-y,  which wasn't my intent.  What I really wanted to talk about was ripples- the way you'll sometimes realize that the stone you tossed into the pool years ago brushed ripples against all these other lives.

Back when I was young some friends and I did a fair bit of backyard theater for our parents and whoever else we could grab and force to watch.  One of those friends is now directing this church play (which is how I heard about it, incidentally).  I like to think that back when we were hanging sheets in the garage, God was watching us work but also looking at the moment I've just now reached in linear time, and planning, way back then, how one would affect the other.  Maybe also looking to moments I haven't reached yet.  

It's not that often I get to look back on a piece of my life and see God's foreshadowing.  Life is so messy the patterns aren't always obvious while you're in the middle of them.  But when that happens, it's just an amazing thing.    

Back

Hi, I'm back, after some computer problems and now a nasty cold (that is fortunately not keeping me down).  I've been working on a new story.  I'm mostly mapping out conversations and emotions, ignoring descriptions and inconsistent world building in favor of get-the-idea-down-quick!  

It has been several years since I've been so excited about a project.  I'd run out of ideas so I got caught up trying to fix an old story, making everything perfect and bleeding the life out of the poor thing.   I was trying to gloss over the less pretty pieces of my life, too.  All the bits I couldn't fix.  

The thing is, you can't make good art if you're lying to yourself.  It doesn't work.  Art comes from dredging your emotions, even the ones you don't want to feel -especially the ones you don't want to feel.  Once you start hiding, all that fire just... it damps down.  You're left writing is meaningless gloss, so you polish you adjectives and hope all that gloss shines. 

I already knew that, but sometimes I forget.  So now I am writing about a loveable coward, wincing at my own cowardice, and wishing I didn't relate quite so well.  

Life is good.