Saturday, December 1, 2012

Love Languages



A little while ago I watched a scyfy movie called Alice. The story is a modern girl falling into a dystopian version of Wonderland.  Under all the trappings, the plot is a basic love triangle.  There's Jack, Alice's real-world boyfriend who has more connections to Wonderland than first appears, and Hatter, a sort of con-man who acts as Alice's self-appointed guide/protector after she falls into Wonderland.  Normally I'm not a big fan of love triangles, but this one really worked for me.  Both guys care about Alice, and both show their affection in different ways.  With Jack, it's all gifts.  A couple minutes into the movie, he's bringing her roses.  Later, when he wants her to go with him right now, he tries to give her the mcguffin ring, and later he tries to prove he can be trusted by slipping her her missing father's watch.  His attempts at reaching Alice are all solid objects.  Hatter gives Alice exactly one gift; a coat when she's dripping wet.  Everything else is about actions.  He talks her across the ledge when she's afraid of heights.  He gets between her and a gun, and fights off a Jabberwock for her.  He rescues her from the villains once and tries to do it a second time which doesn't exactly work out, but hey, it's the thought that counts.

There's this book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  His theory is that everyone has a love-language, a way of being shown affection that especially speaks to them.  I was thinking about that in relation to characters.  Sometimes you'll read a book or watch a sitcom and the guy is there changing the girl's tires in the rain and twisting himself into a pretzel to get her tickets to her favorite concert.  It's obvious he's crazy about her, and what does she say?  `I just don't know if he likes me.  He's never said the words.'  Am I the only one who wants to smack that characters with a get-a-clue stick?  Then you have the characters who are told the words -repeatedly and with sky-writing- and they say `talk is cheap.'  It's not that the character isn't listening, it's just that the guy isn't speaking her language.

Of course, as soon as the characters get in sync, you get all sorts of lovely scenes that are unique to them because it'll pull on everything that has happened before in the story, all the mistakes and mishaps, only this time they can laugh and get it right.

13 comments:

  1. I remember seeing a book about this at my voice teacher's (before she had to go to the mainland to help her family. I wish I knew more about it now. It does sound like an intriguing idea. {Smile}

    Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

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  2. I've never actually read the book, but I've seen it around. But I love the idea. I think if you know how your characters express love it'd make it easier for their scenes together to feel unique. :)

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  3. I like the idea, too. Particularly as it applies to writing, and to enjoying stories. {Smile}

    Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

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  4. Me too. :) It's so much fun when a character does something that's totally romantic -but only for the people in question. Then you get to feel all fluffy. :)

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  5. I agree. {Smile}

    I feel rather strongly that the generic "hearts and flowers" romance Hallmark pushes isn't really all that romantic. To me, real romance should be a celebration between lovers or potential lovers of you, and me, and us. My favorite is when it shows some understanding of each other, like the way Dad would pick up 20 chrysanthemums for Mom because he knows she loves yellow mums far more than red roses. Or the way he stopped because she was frustrated when she started to have to hide them on top of the fridge to keep the cat we had before Val from tearing the bouquet apart. {SMILE}

    Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

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  6. That's so sweet. Sometimes in the winter if the roads are icy dad'll drive mom to work, then take her out to breakfast when he picks her up. (Mom works night shift as an RN.) It's very sweet.

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  7. Yes, that is very sweet. That's what I mean by real romance. {SMILE}

    Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

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  8. :) One thing I've found with writing romance is that it goes a lot better if I don't plan things out too hard and just let the characters take over.

    Of course, if you're doing a fairytale retelling and everything hinges on true love's kiss happening at a certain point, your characters are a million times more likely to decide they'd rather be just friends. (Sigh.)

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  9. Yes, I think romance, family stories,a nd other character-centered stories work best if you let the characters lead. {Smile}

    I recognize the problem when characters decide to just be friends when one needs something romantic to happen. I think that's the time to start asking certain characters if they have a brother/sister, cousin, or old friend they think would really like to meet their new friend. {wink, BROAD SMILE}

    Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

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  10. "Matchmaker matchmaker make me a match..." :)

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  11. Yup, exactly. I find it amazing how many characters who don't want to marry someone themselves are quite happy to play matchmaker for them. {BIG SMILE, wink, REALLY BIG GRIN}

    Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

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  12. Or all your secondary characters will fall madly in love with each other. (Cannot spell spontaniously for the life of me! You know, I would sound really smart if it wasn't for spelling.)

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  13. At least the secondary characters should be happy then. {Smile}

    I have trouble with spelling, too. It's frustrating. {Sympathetic Smile}

    Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

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